Boskak

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

For some of us here on boskak (myself excluded :p ), going without beer for an entire could spell the end of the world, and cause us to go into a state of complete mental instability!

So if you ever needed an excuse to drink, or needed to justify to someone why you are having that “one more for the road” beer.

The following list of quotes should be quite helpful :

“Sometimes  when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
I feel  shame.   Then  I look into the glass and think
about the workers in the vineyards and  all of their hopes
and dreams .. If  I didn’t drink this wine, they might be out
of work and their dreams  would be shattered.
Then I say to  myself, “It is better that I drink this wine and let their
dreams come  true than be selfish and worry about my liver.”
~ Jack  Handy

WARNING:  The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your bra and panties.
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For any of you writing exams, or who ever have written an exam before, this should give you some laughs.

30 things to do when you have no idea what is cooking!

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming “Andre, Andre, I’ve got the secret documents!!”

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, “I’m SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking.” Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say “They’ve found me, I have to leave the country” and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out “Merry Christmas.” If you’re really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette’s Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he’s not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

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I overheard this on 5fm this week. It’s short but dirty, but that’s how we like it here at Boskak.

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If any of you are having a crap day like me, then you probably not even have to time or energy to even read the following letter. But if that is not the case.. Have a good laugh

Btw, got this in an email..

Enjoy

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Thought all you might need a good laugh during this awful day!

A Jamaican fireman came home from work one day and said to his wife “Ya know  sumptin’, womon, we have a wonderful new system at de Fire Station…
Bell 1 rings, we put on our jackets.
Bell 2 rings, we slide down de pole.
Bell 3 rings, we jump on de engine and we’s ready to go.

So from now on womon, when I say…….

‘Bell one’, I want you to strip naked.
When I say… ‘Bell two’, jump on de bed.
When I say ‘ Bell three’, we’s gonna mek love all tru de night girl.”

The next night he came home and shouted:

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These are all from the brilliant site Ebaumsworld. Just to put you into the mood for the weekend
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It seems that boskak has gone political and ethical today. So I’ve decided to stay with the current theme, but just spicing it up a bit more

Hope you enjoy it..

Here are some ways of calling someone stupid, but in a nice way. Cause we all know that calling some stupid is not exactly PR.. (like i give two hoots for PR). I’m the hellspawn that PR fears!! ‘;..;’ Mhuahahahahaa .. Here it is :

A few clowns short of a circus.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

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Some of these are a bit rough, but that’s just how we roll here at Boskak. Please note that these are all of an adult nature, just how we like it.

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